"Red crisp hands, yellow Teng wine, and willows on the palace wall in spring. The east wind is evil, the joy is thin, a melancholy mood, several years leave the rope. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Spring is as old as the past, people are thin and empty, tears are red and the silk is transparent. Peach blossom falls, leisure pool Pavilion, although the mountain alliance is there, brocade books are hard to hold. Mo, Mo, Mo! "


This is a poem written by Tang Wan, his ex-wife, by a famous poet of the Northern Song Dynasty. It is a masterpiece of Song Ci.


Tang Wan, Lu You's ex-wife, married Lu you when he was 19. Tang Wan is intelligent and talented. She was a talented woman at that time. After she married Lu You, she was virtuous and filial. She and Lu you shared the same interests and shared the same interests. They were very kind. However, Lu You's mother, Tang ma'am, did not like Tang Wan. She criticized her and finally forced Lu you to stop Tang Wan. Later, Tang Wan married Zhao Shicheng, and Lu You married as his wife. Since then, they have no longer met each other.


Ten years later, Lu You and Tang Wan ran into each other in Shenyuan, Shaoxing. Lu you felt deeply and wrote the word on the wall to express his inner sadness. And Tang Wan also wrote a poem with the words: "the world is thin, the human sentiment is evil, the rain sends the dusk flower to fall easily.". Xiaofeng is dry, tears are broken. If you want to write something about yourself, you can only speak with a slanting appendix. Hard! Hard! Hard! It's not yesterday that people become each other. The sick soul often looks like a swing rope. The sound of the horn is cold and the night is dim. Afraid of asking, swallowing tears and pretending to be happy. To hide! To hide! To hide! "This word tells of his infinite yearning for Lu You, and cries about his condition of suffering from deep thoughts. The meaning of the word is even more miserable. Tang Wan met this time and died in depression soon after he went back because of his grief.


The love story between Lu You and Tang Wan is a rich and colorful one in the history of literature, which has always been enjoyed by the world. No matter in poems, songs and Fu, or in later generations of opera, both of them are cousins, but some people also question it. So are Lu You and Tang Wan cousins?


Those who questioned the relationship pointed out that according to the records of Baoqing Huiji, Tang Wan's father, Tang Hong, was the son of Tang Yi, Honglu Shaoqing, Shanyin (now Shaoxing, Zhejiang), and Lu You's mother, Tang Jie's granddaughter, Jiangling (now Hubei). The two places are far apart. Although both of them are related, they are not related by clan. Since Tang Hong, Tang Wan's father, and Lu You's mother are not brothers and sisters, then Lu You and Tang Wan can't be cousins.


However, the research is based on limited materials, and the records of local records are not reliable. But about Tang Wan is Lu You cousin's view, actually.


According to the well-known "qidongyeyu", when he was first married, Hong's daughter was also his aunt and nephew That is to say, Tang Wan is the niece of Lu You's mother, so Lu You and Tang Wan are cousins. Chen Hu of the Southern Song Dynasty also has such a record in the sequel of the old, in which he said that Tang Wan was Lu You's cousin. After they got married, "the Qin and the zither were very harmonious, but they didn't agree with their mother, because of this. The love between husband and wife can't bear to leave. After the name of the South class, there is a garden of victory. Wu Guan (Lu Youzi) went to the garden one day, went to his wife to hear about it, and sent Huang Feng's wine and fruit dishes to be hospitable. Public feeling of their feelings, to Fu this word. When his wife sees it, she agrees with it. There is a saying that "the world is weak, but the human feelings are evil". She cannot cherish it completely. Only a few, and die. This record not only shows that the two are cousins, but also describes their living conditions after marriage, explains the reasons for their separation, and explains in detail the process of Lu You's writing hairpin and Phoenix.


Chen Hu is a younger generation who lives at the same time and later than Lu You, so he has a great possibility. In addition, Liu Kezhuang of the Southern Song Dynasty also followed Chen Hu's and thoughtful view in the sequel of Houcun poetry, believing that Lu You and Tang Wan were cousins. Later in the Qing Dynasty, some books such as the poetry of the past dynasties and the anecdotes of the Song Dynasty were also consistent with the records such as qidongyeyu and the sequel of the aged. Tang Wan was considered to be Lu You's cousin and wife, and because of Lu Mu's opposition, he left a sad and beautiful love story.


In fact, we can also find the clue of the relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan by investigating why Lu Mu opposed the marriage. There have always been different opinions about the reasons why Lu Mu rejected Tang Wan, but in summary, there are two opinions that people agree with. One is as recorded in qidongyeyu. Lu's mother, seeing that Lu You married Tang Wan, is increasingly immersed in love with me, neglecting to study and become an official. She leads a life of double entry and yingyingyanyan. Therefore, she is dissatisfied. She is afraid that the beautiful and intelligent Tang Wan will delay Lu you's progress. The talented Lu You took an exam after he got married, but she didn't pass the exam. Lu's mother didn't know that it was the political reason (he was strong in fighting against gold in Lu You's exam paper, which was not allowed by the people in power at that time). Tang Wan was blamed. So more and more people saw Tang Wan's displeasure, and finally forced Lu you to give her a rest.


Another reason is that because Tang Wan had no children after marriage, which caused Lu Mu's dissatisfaction, so she was taken off. In his later years, Lu you wrote a poem about how sad it was to hear the sound of water birds in a boat in the summer night. It said, "I hope my concubine will give birth to a man, and my concubines will make grandchildren.". This ambition is wasted, and my life is slandered. " It is a euphemism to express that Tang Wan has not given birth since she got married, which leads to her dissatisfaction and finally drives her out of the Lu family. This may seem inconceivable at present, but in ancient times, what we paid attention to was that "there are three ways to be unfilial and no one can be left behind". The primary purpose of marriage is to spread branches and leaves, to continue fragrant fire. As for housework, to do the help of the wise and the wise is the second.


Therefore, if you can't have a son after marriage, or even can't have a child all the time, it means that the primary purpose of marriage can't be achieved, and this marriage is a failure. At this time, it's natural to dissolve the marriage without any questioning. Because this view comes from Lu You's own poetry, and Tang Wan did not have a child three years after he married Lu You, then this reason is probably the real reason or the main reason why Lu Mu dislikes Tang Wan.


The reason why Tang Wan has not been able to have children is probably because Lu You and Tang Wan have cousins, and they are close relatives, so it's very normal that they can't have children. Although it is not in line with the law in modern marriage, in ancient times, it was considered a good thing to marry cousins, which both sides are willing to see. However, the consequences of the marriage of close relatives are not noticed and prevented by the ancients, so the misfortunes of many families are often related to this. According to this reason, Tang Wan's failure to give birth three years after marriage is likely to be caused by her relationship with Lu You's cousins, which provides an evidence for their relationship.


In addition, in order to determine the relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan, there are also scholars who have made a detailed study of the family situation of Tang Wan. They arranged the family genealogy of Tang Wan, and thus determined that there was a clan relationship between Tang Wan and his mother, Mrs. Tang. In this way, there was also a relative relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan. It was a tragedy that Lu You, Tang Wan, the talented cousins and sisters of the same interest, became a loving couple. At that time, they were supposed to be a good thing to marry each other, but they were beaten by Lu Mu Bang Yuanyang because they had no children after marriage.


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