剖析人发怒的根源和动机 认识适度控制怒气的方法-看世界

剖析人发怒的根源和动机 认识适度控制怒气的方法



Some people say that people are born to suffer because they come to the world crying. Everyone's attitude is different. We should pay attention to prevention to improve our life. Many people will have emotional changes, which seriously affect themselves and their families, but also affect the people around them. Such emotional problems will have an impact on everyone's body. Who is more likely to get angry? Is there you? Now follow 360 common sense net to understand!


Who is prone to anger?


1. Women with premenstrual syndrome. Women in the menstruation that few days, prone to temper, emotional instability, in fact, there are physiological reasons. When estrogen and progesterone levels decrease in the week before menstruation, premenstrual syndrome will appear. Although its mechanism is not clear, it does affect mood.


2. Diabetic patients. Hypoglycemia refers to the fact that the fasting blood glucose concentration is lower than a certain limit. Both type 1 diabetes mellitus and type 2 diabetes mellitus patients will have a series of problems caused by too low blood glucose concentration. Hypoglycemia can lead to aggression, anger, confusion, restlessness and panic within minutes.


3. Insomnia. Lack of sleep can lead to nervous tension and worry. Taking a sleeping pill can relieve insomnia symptoms, but it may increase your temper. Benzodiazepines (e.g. salbutamol) can be used to treat insomnia. Sometimes they are also used as prescription drugs to treat anxiety. This kind of drugs will have a side effect, which will affect about 1% of users, causing them to lose their temper, aggressive and irrational for no reason.


4. People with hyperthyroidism. If you always get angry for no reason, it's probably due to hyperthyroidism. The incidence of this endocrine disease is about 1%. When the thyroid gland secretes too much thyroid hormone, it will cause hyperthyroidism. Thyroid hormones can affect vital signs related to * metabolism, such as heart rate and body temperature. They can also affect various physiological tissues, including the brain, leading to irritability. Other symptoms include weight loss, shivering and sweating.


5. People with liver damage. In ancient medicine, liver was related to emotion, and traditional Chinese medicine often said "anger hurt liver". There are many diseases that affect the health of the liver, such as cirrhosis and hepatitis, and eventually develop into hepatic encephalopathy. It can lead to personality changes, such as bad temper, unfriendly behavior and aggressive increase. When the liver is damaged, these toxic substances will gradually accumulate in the blood, affecting the emotional function of the brain.


6. Patients with depression. Depression is not only manifested in listlessness and sadness, but also in anger, anxiety and anger.


We may as well borrow wisdom from classics to analyze the source and motivation of people's anger, and help us deeply understand the method of anger and moderate control of anger from the cultural level.


Anger comes from self-esteem: moderation is self-defense, excess is inferiority


Don't saints get angry? In the Analects of Confucius, gongyechang, Zi Gong said, "I don't want people to add to me, and I also want to add no people." Confucius said, "giving is beyond your reach." Zi Gong once sighed to his teacher, "I don't want others to impose the will of restraint on me. Of course, I will never impose my will on others." After hearing this, Confucius replied, "this is not something you can do if you want to." That is to say, even Confucius and his students can't avoid being angry or attacked by others.

发怒是一个人的自尊本能,人都有边界意识,他的尊严也有自己的领地,这里面有自我的自由,有选择的权利,还有一部分隐私,无论周围是领导、同事、朋友甚至是爱人亲人,一旦触犯了边界,人会启动一种自动防御机制。适度的自尊,是对自我的保护;不过过度自尊表现出的攻击性愤怒,背后却是过度的自卑。比如有的人平时心平气和,和女朋友外出用餐时,却总要数落服务员几句:“你看,这茶怎么都凉了?怎么热菜都上齐了,还有凉菜没上呢?” 比如领导经常训斥下属,家里一个主人经常训斥保姆,这种符号性地愤怒,以发怒为名片,动不动甩出来,想要达到炫耀的目的,恰恰是自卑的表现。

Anger is a person's self-esteem instinct. People have boundary awareness, and their dignity has its own territory. There are freedom of self, the right to choose, and some privacy. No matter the leaders, colleagues, friends or even loved ones around, once they violate the boundary, people will start an automatic defense mechanism. Moderate self-esteem is self-protection, but the aggressive anger of excessive self-esteem is behind excessive self abasement. For example, some people are calm at ordinary times. When they go out to eat with their girlfriend, they always scold the waiter: "look, why is this tea cold? How come all the hot dishes are served, and the cold dishes are not served? " For example, leaders often reprimand their subordinates, and a master at home often reprimands the nanny. This kind of symbolic anger takes anger as a business card and can't move to show off. To achieve the purpose of showing off is just the expression of inferiority.


If you want to "control anger", you should first face up to anger, and identify whether the source of your anger is self-esteem or inferiority: if you have self-esteem, you can change a calm and atmospheric way of expression, and defend your territory; if you have self-esteem, you should cultivate yourself, strengthen your heart, and reach a peaceful state. This "symbolic anger" will also be solved.


Don't be an emotional chameleon: anger and regret

曾有一位母亲,想考验一下四岁的小儿子是否有孝敬之心,便拿出一大一小两个苹果,招呼儿子来吃。小男孩跑来,第一手便抓起大苹果,咬下一口,母亲本已心下一沉,却见儿子另一手抓起小苹果,又是一口。母亲气不打一处来,不等儿子咽下苹果便高声呵斥起来:“吃大的不够,还要占着小的?你眼里难道就没有妈妈吗?”谁知儿子眼泪汪汪地回应道:“我想尝尝哪个苹果甜,把那个最甜的苹果留给你呀。” 听罢孩子的回应,母亲的愤怒霎时化成了一汪糖水。

Once there was a mother who wanted to test the filial piety of her four-year-old son. She took out two apples, one big and one small, and asked him to eat them. When the little boy came, he grabbed the big apple in the first hand and took a bite. The mother was already in a deep heart, but saw his son grabbed the small apple in the other hand, another bite. The mother was angry. She shouted loudly before her son swallowed the apple: "what's bigger is not enough, but what's smaller? Don't you have a mother in your eyes? " Who knows son tearful ground replies: "I want to taste which apple is sweet, leave that sweetest apple to you." After hearing the child's response, the mother's anger suddenly turned into a pool of sugar water.


Yan Yuan, the Analects of Confucius, once recorded that Confucius said, "it is perplexing to want love for its life and evil for its death, both for its life and for its death." It means that when you like a person, you can't enjoy it; when you hate it, you can't hate it. One is the extreme of fire, the other is the extreme of ice. This is confusion. We are always under the control of our own subconscious outburst of resentment, but we ignore the rational judgment, lack of control and judgment of the overall situation of things. For a moment, the rash anger, the harm to others is eternal, and the regret and regret left to oneself is eternal.


People's anger erupted at that moment, sometimes it's because they are too quick to judge clearly. If they can listen to others and look at the whole situation, they may be less angry.


The essence of "controlling anger": impulse is the devil, anger is the bane


Driving a private car was originally designed to be convenient and quick, but it has become a matter of anger. Driving a fighting car, speeding each other and saying goodbye to each other, no one can leave at the end of the day. There are many cases in which people are furious and even fight with each other.


In the Analects of Confucius, Yan Yuan once recorded that Confucius said, "when one dynasty is angry, he forgets his body and his relatives, and is not confused?" People are angry for a while. They even forget who they are and who their relatives are. People are so unrestrained, willful and greedy for the pleasure of venting their emotions, but they do not care about the consequences at all. Such anger is very terrible. Once it leads to a big mistake, it will be regret for life. For example, in case of a car crash, there is no room for recovery, and there is no chance for you to come back.


The essence of the so-called "system of anger" is the word "system". Impulse is the devil, anger is the bane of the water, a moment of unconstrained, greedy for a moment of comfort, a thought of heaven, a thought of hell, do not control their own emotions, bring the possibility of real is a never-ending regret for life.


When you are in a hurry, it's better to close your eyes, give yourself some time to think calmly, and wait for the real answer in your heart: is this really worth my anger? Learn to use moderate restraint and patience in exchange for later regret.


Intelligence quotient depends on learning to reflect the quality of ability; EQ depends on experience to reflect the quality. The best experience is to learn to control emotions, speak well and deal with people calmly, without impatience. In the Analects of Confucius, there is a way to control anger that many people have not understood.


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